Jerrie's Time Travel Troubles
by Chibi Teazer
Summary: Well.... the title says it all... please also read my CATS summary it and this was sritten whilst I was in a cynical mood and apparently when i write in a cynical mood i'm funny so uh.... yeah... please R/R


I thought it was time to post something. Meh…. I'm sory I haven't really had much time. Holidays are in two weeks so I'll be writing non stop…. For any fans. Check out my humorous synopsis on the VHS version that is either on Fanfiction.net or my website. It's actually on both as I just this very moment (7:30 March 20th 2002) decided to post it. Please read on and enjoy my humorous story! And stand by as the next instalment to the Demeter and Jemima (NOT SLASH) story is coming!  
  
1 Jerrie's Time Travel Trouble  
  
Mungojerrie walked into the junkyard. Startled at what he saw. He walked up to it, wandered around it's perimeter and then sat at the front of it. There was a messege tacked on the door that he had just tacked up. It read:  
  
Mungo! We've have just found the bestest toy ever! When we go through the door we go back in time! It's soooooooooo cool!!! Oh, by the way. We need more milk. Lotsa Luv Rumple.  
  
"Curiouser and curiouser." He quoted.  
  
He then noticed that the entire junkyard was empty. He searched for cats for a few minutes and then said to himself.  
  
"Oi guess oi'll hafta go through that door ova there an' foind em all."  
  
So through the time door he went. (Cori – Interesting sentence… through the door he went) (Tell you what… how about you go and find Rum Tum… no doubt you'll be happy to see him.) (Cori – What is that supposed to mean?) (Do you want me to spell it out for you?) (Cori – Go on then) (G-A…) (Cori – YOU'D DO BEST TO STOP RIGHT THERE!!!!) (Heh heh heh heh) Anyway… so through the door he went. He cautiously put one paw through the door and was half expecting to see the other side of the junkyard. He inched through, worried about what he would see. He was completely amazed at what he did see however. It seemed like a giant cliché time warp. Complete with the swirly blue and purple lines. His eyes went all funny whilst he waited for them to adjust to the strange colours. He suddenly heard a voice in his head. It said  
  
You have been chosen.  
  
"Huh?"  
  
*You have been chosen to save all of the Jellicles from their current 'positions' in time.*  
  
"Eh?"  
  
*You have all the time you need because if you succeed I can send you back to your position as it would have been if the door hadn't appeared.*  
  
Mungojerrie scratched his head.  
  
"Owkay the'. 'oo 'ave oi got'a saive?"  
  
*All your friends and uh… the rest of the Jellicles.*  
  
"Is this a test or something?"  
  
*Yes, and no. Or it could just be a crazy fanfic author trying to make you do weird things to amuse her.*  
  
(Cori – Take the second option Jer!)  
  
"Oh… right.." Jerrie hadn't heard the funny person in the brackets.  
  
(Cori – That is a direct insult, I am not funny and I am certainly NOT a person.)  
  
(Uh huh…)  
  
Jerrie could see a door materialise down the end of the warp.  
  
*Go through the door Mungojerrie.*  
  
Mungojerrie did as he was told. He walked through the door. A little to fast because as soon as he entered he saw a large prison that was surrounded by guards. All of which had cross-bows. They were enclosing in on him.  
  
'Where's Teaza when you need her!' he thought bitterly as he tried to make his escape. He ran out of the courtyard and hid behind a tree. We then see a stereotypical scene of his head just sticking out and all the guards rushing past the tree trying to find him. He crept out from the tree and walked quietly back into the empty courtyard. His padding steps almost inaudible. He reached the large door of the prison. It was more like a Disney movie than anything. The keys were not visible so he simply used a claw to open up the door. He wandered inside to lonely place. He saw a familiar figure clad in green tights.  
  
"Dare oi ask wot the 'ell you're doin? You look loike a bloody faggo…." AUTHOR STOPS THAT SENTNCE AS IT IS UNNAPROPRIATE   
  
"I am not a *beeeeep* as you put it! My name is Tugger Hood."  
  
(Cori – You what?) (HEH HEH HEH….)  
  
"Oh very original. C'mon. Oi got'a ge' ya ou'ta 'ere apparen'ly."  
  
"But what about Maid Bom?"  
  
"Eh?"  
  
"Aren't you familiar with the story Robin Hood?"  
  
"Nuh."  
  
Tugger sighed.  
  
"I got to find her before you can move onto the next one."  
  
"Uh huh. You got'a com' wif me though firs'."  
  
Mungo dragged the 'green' Tugger with him out of the prison. They had no sooner left the dungeon when the guards showed up again.  
  
"Ah duck I'…"  
  
(Woah woah woah…. Duck it?) (Mungo – Well oi can' exac'ly sai ths real 'f' word can oi?) (Good point)  
  
Tugger, brandishing an incredible looking bow and arrow hit one of the guards on the bottom. Just as well that incredible looking bow only shot suction capped arrows. Anyway as dumb as it sounds the guards all fell over each other and of course Mungojerrie and Tugger Hood escaped.  
  
"Aha!! I'm freeeee!!!"  
  
"Ge' a grip maite. We still got'a foind tha rest a tha troibe!"  
  
"And Maid Bomb."  
  
"Yeah, an' Mayd Bomb."  
  
Mungojerrie shuddered. The last time he had been face to face with Bombi was after he stole one of her 'secret ladies' business items. That had been a very bad afternoon. They finally reached the other side of the courtyard. They exited as discreetly as possible (A/N remember Tugger is wearing green, not so easy to be discreet.) through a gate on the other side of the courtyard. Tugger was still shooting of his bow and arrow however making it blatantly obvious which direction they had left. Mungojerrie ran silently through the castle grounds on the other side of the gate. His silent padding was ruined however by the fact that Tugger had managed to get his foot stuck in a tin can and was clunking as he went.  
  
"Go' any oidea where Bom' is?"  
  
"Well *clunk* she *clunk* is probably *clunk* stuck *clunk* in the castle with *clunk* her handmaiden. *clunk**clunk**clunk**clunk**clunk*"  
  
"oo's 'er 'andmaiden?"  
  
Tugger stopped at this point. Noticed the tin can on his foot and fiddled with it, trying to get it off.  
  
"Her name's Lady Etcy."  
  
He bent down and hopped on one foot.  
  
"ETCY?!?!?!"  
  
Tugger looked up for a moment.  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
Then went back to removing the can.  
  
"'Ow can she pu' up wif Etcy? An' tha fac' tha' Etcy's in lurve wif ya?"  
  
He managed to get the can off and chucked it over his shoulder hitting a guard that had been secretly following them and knocking him out. They turned, raised an eye…. Aww shoot… I forgot… no eyebrows…. Meh.. Tugger turned back to Mungo.  
  
"I don't know. Etcy seems pretty in love with Little Tom."  
  
"Li'l Tom?"  
  
"His name's really Pouncival but she's pretty enraptured with him. Hasn't come after me for ages. Besides, I got Bomb."  
  
Mungojerrie did a double take.  
  
"WHA'???????"  
  
Tugger? Only wanting one queen? This time warp had screwed up his brain majorly! Mungo made his way to the side of the castle with Tugger following.  
  
"So w'ere is 'er chamba?"  
  
"Up there."  
  
Said Tugger pointing wistfully towards a window.  
  
"C'mon lovaboi. We got'a ge' her ou'. Then we can ge' the next one of the troibe!"  
  
They trudged up the stairs. Mungo made a few sums in his head. If he had three cats by the time he got Bomb and Etcy, he only had about 29 to go. He sighed a great sigh. By the time he had lost his train of thought, they had reached a chamber. From inside voices were heard.  
  
"GET OFF OF ME!!!!"  
  
"Sorry Bomb…. I was only doing as Prince Macavity said."  
  
"I DON'T CARE!!!!! WHY CAN'T YOU LEAVE ME ALONE!!! GET THAT BUTTERFLY OFF OF ME!!!!"  
  
Mungojerrie shuddered. Great… this was all he needed. Bomb was angry…. Tugger opened the door before Mungo could stop him.  
  
"NOOOOOOO!" he said. But it was too late.  
  
"TUGSY!!!!!"  
  
*Sigh*  
  
After quite a long time Mungo managed to get Etcy, Bombi and Tugger to fall back in line behind him.  
  
"So what now?" he said to the great voice (A/N Also known as the Author).  
  
*You have forgotten one Jellicle in this point in time.*  
  
"Who?!?!"  
  
*It's not up to me to tell you.*  
  
It was then that Mungojerrie noticed a rather hyper-as-usual Etcetera bouncing around and sighed, yet again.  
  
"Pouncival… when I get my hands on that little…."  
  
Mungojerrie turned to the hyper-as-usual Etcetera.  
  
"Where's Pouncival?"  
  
At the mention of the 'sacred name' her eyes suddenly turned all goo-goo and she clasped her paws together under her chin. Mungojerrie and Bombi both rolled their eyes.  
  
"He lives in Cornwallwood Forest." Said Tugger  
  
"Huh?"  
  
(Cori – Yeah…. Huh?) (A/N I don't know any other names for places that you live ok?!?!)  
  
"We hide out there from Prince Macavity and his evil Henchcats."  
  
"O-k-a-y then…. Well… le's go and foind him oi spose."  
  
So the weak and bedraggled travlers….. wait sorry… wrong story. So they all trudged into Cornwallwood Forest. All the trees, being tall, green and completely monotonous looked exactly the same. But Tugger Hood seemed to know where he was going. So they all followed him.  
  
"Are we nearly there?" wailed Bombi.  
  
Etcy was bouncing up and down very over-excitedly. They reached what seemed to be a waterfall and walked through it to a glen.  
  
"Hey Tugger! Wondered where you were!!"  
  
"POUNCIE!!!"  
  
"ETCY!!!"  
  
"Oh gosh… 'ere we go…"  
  
The two teen-cats ran to each other in a typical we're-at-the-beach-and- we're-in-so-much-love-that-we-decided-to-run-at-each-other-for-no-reason- other-than-we're-on-heat-and-we-are-very-bored. *PHEW* Mungojerrie sighed and Tugger watched them in horror as they went in for a big smooch. After about ten minutes of smooching Mungojerrie broke them apart. He almost needed a crow bar to prise the lovers away from each other. Then just as he did get them apart he heard the voice.  
  
*Well done, you have them all. From this part of the trial. BUT the most scary and daring part of the mission is yet to come. You have to rescue Munkustrap.*  
  
"Is tha' all? Woul'ja loike froiys wif tha'?" said a very irate Mungo.  
  
And Mungojerrie was suddenly hit on the bottom with a lightning bolt.  
  
"OWWWWOOWOWOEOEOWOWOWOOEOWOEOWOEOWOEOWOEW!!"  
  
*Now get moving!*  
  
"Yes oh masta…"  
  
He suddenly felt himself back in the timewarp again.  
  
'Oh great…'  
  
He came onto the other side of the timewarp feeling very tired suddenly. He entered a room that seemed to be full of other cats. He couldn't see Munkustrap anywhere. (Cori – Remember the promise you made BrentGirl.) Great…. I forgot about that…. hmmmm…. Minor plot change…. Please come back in ten minutes.  
  
TEN MINUTES LATER.  
  
Better make that half an hour.  
  
HALF AN HOUR LATER.  
  
Er….  
  
ONE HOUR LATER.  
  
I GOT IT!!!!!!!! (Cori – What? A brain tumour? :P) (Evil….)  
  
The room that Mungo had entered suddenly emptied very quickly. He looked around a noticed a rather frightening picture of someone who looked suspiciously like a composer. He hated composers. After that little run in he had had with ALW about Rumple and him somehow becoming siblings in his musical. Suddenly in walked someone who looked like Munkustrap and sounded like Munkustrap but could have been confused with a history professor.  
  
"Er… I moight be mista'en… bu' are you Munku?"  
  
"I most certainly am not! My name is Munkustrap Amadeus Motzart!"  
  
"Grea'… a wise goiy… tha's all oi need."  
  
Mungo almost swallowed in fright when Munkustrap seated himself at the piano and began to play something that sounded eerily like the theme music to Harry Potter. But he could have been mistaken. He saw Harry Potter such a long time ago. He cleared his throat. Bad move.  
  
"YOU MADE ME MISS A BAR YOU INCONSIDERATE EXCUSE!!!!!!!"  
  
"Uh oh…. Now woul' be a good toime ta run!"  
  
So, Mungo ran. And he ran fast, very fast. But Munkustrap ran like hell after him. He wasn't going to let him go. At that instant Mungo saw his salvation! The portal! It was open at the end of the hallway! But aww heck! He noticed that now Munkustrap had acquired a few body guards. They looked like Alonzo, Plato and Tumblebrutus.  
  
"Oh grea'"  
  
So Mungo ran like hell and groaned while the author laughed and made the vortex spiral away down the hallway… (Haha… getit? Spiral away?) (Cori – Groan)  
  
"I HATE YOU CT!!!!!" (Life's a bitch aint it?)  
  
So Mungo ran. And ran. And ran. And ran. And ran. And ran. And ran. (Cori – We get the idea….) And as he continued down the hallway so did the vortex. Suddenly he realised that if he didn't stop soon he was going to fall out a window that was coming up behind the vortex. He stopped and so did the body guards. But unfortunately Munkustrap Amadeus Mozart didn't.  
  
There is a time in every life where time stands still for a split second choice to be made. Mungo's life stopped completely.  
  
"Save Munku – He still makes my life a misery for that LITTLE mistake in the Jellicle Ball, Or I could let him jump – No more Munku, all the other cats will be happy except Demeter and Jemima hmmmm…. A hard choice….. if I don't save him however Author will as BG will be on her neck for killing him….. better save him."  
  
So time sped up again and Mungojerrie caught him as he was falling out the window. He could be heard saying something along the lines of:  
  
" That boy has got to cut down on the peanut butter."  
  
As he held onto the falling Munkustrap. It was the typical I'll-save-you- Mufasa-from-the-lion-king pose. The body guards helped to pull the falling genius back in the window. Mungojerrie decided that while they were doing that he would discreetly exit through the porthole. He jumped through and felt the angry voice of the Author fill his head.  
  
*YOU DIDN'T SAVE HIM!!! YOU IDIOT!!!*  
  
"You wanna giv' it a troi?!??!"  
  
*Okay then…. How about I put you into ancient Greece to find the rest of your tribe.*  
  
Mungojerrie was thrown out of the porthole. Well thrown isn't exactly the right word. He was almost spat out. As he got up he noticed a rather odd looking cat clad in leather walking around with another one clad in cat equivalent of blue jeans.  
  
"Let me guess? You guys are…."  
  
"I am the great Rumpoles and this is my sidekick Mistolus."  
  
"'ercules and Aeolus… 'ow coul' I no' 'ave guesse' tha'…"  
  
"We're just going to meet out friends, wanna come with us oh strange cat of the gods?"  
  
"Huh? Oh! Um yeah.. okay then…"  
  
So Mungojerrie followed the hero wannabe's to a small town. Inside there was screaming heard. It sounded like two elderly ladies had been attacked.  
  
"We have to go and help Mistolus!"  
  
"I'll come to!"  
  
Yelled Mungojerrie in mock enthusiasm. So they ran inside the town and found that there were already two warriors there taking 'care' of the evil- doers.  
  
"Who are you?" asked Mungojerrie terrified of what he was going to hear as a response.  
  
"I am Jeena and this is Electrialla."  
  
"Xena and Gabrielle. Now all we gotta do is see who's Joxer."  
  
As if on cue along came Coricopat.  
  
(Cori – HEY!?!??!?!?!)  
  
Heh heh heh heh heh heh heh.  
  
"What happened here?" asked Rumpoles.  
  
"Jellylarius and Jennywookleoads were attacked! Skimbletorius and Bostorpherius weren't around to save them!"  
  
Mungojerrie turned around and shook his head in disbelief. Was it possible that the author was losing it? Mungojerrie turned back and tried to look sane. The eyes of the cats were all very large after they had heard that last sentence.  
  
"Don't mean to be a bit of a nuisance but… you see I was sent by ah… the great Heaviside."  
  
"Who?" asked Jeena  
  
"Uh… the god of the er…" and a sudden brainwave hit him "The god of the CATS!!"  
  
All the cats present stopped what they were doing and suddenly nodded in agreement. Not one of them wanted to seem as though they had not heard of the almighty Heaviside!  
  
"I have been sen' ta send ya ta tha grea' Layer of Heaviside!"  
  
Mungojerrie was really getting into the act. And so were all the other cats. He led them to where he saw the swirly vortex of doom. (Cori – Eh?) (Hmmmm you're right…. Scrap that last sentence.) Anyway, they got to the vortex and Mungojerrie literally just shoved all the cats through and hoped that they landed in the junkyard. He ticked off all the cats that he had put back in the junkyard. His stomach gave a lurch. There was only one missing.  
  
*Are you ready for the final task?*  
  
"Do oi hav' a choice?"  
  
*Well, no. You don't*  
  
"Tha' woz moi poin'."  
  
*But this time you have a time limit of twenty minutes*  
  
"THA' IS SO STINGY!"  
  
But the voice was gone.  
  
Mungojerrie felt himself almost fall asleep in the vortex as he was led to the last part of his very long scary journey. The final cat. His own mate. As he reached the other side of the vortex he became aware of exactly where he was. The one place on his tiring time travelling that he knew where the hell he was. It was a very beautiful garden. The house in the garden was huge and there was one room in particular that he knew so well. He was in Rumpleteazer's favourite story. So he knew exactly what he had to do in order to get her to the vortex, and home to safety. He walked/padded over to the balcony.  
  
"Mungeo, Mungeo whereforeart thou Mungeo?" came her sweet voice.  
  
15 minutes left.  
  
Anyway, all of you who haven't seen this scene in the Claire Danes and Leo version you should and for those of you who have well you know exactly how cute that scene is.  
  
Mungojerrie said the line that he had been forced to do in the past so many times. He said his lines that of course were mesmerised (Cori – Memorised you dork…) (*blushing* oh yeah…)  
  
10 minutes.  
  
He wasn't very good at his Shakespeare but he knew that the only way he was going to get her through the vortex was if she wanted to go.  
  
"Rumplet moi love?"  
  
"Yeas?"  
  
"Will you run awai wif me?"  
  
"Oh Mungeo! If only I could, yet my mother, Griddletikins will nay leteth meeth runeth awayeth."  
  
(Cori – Eth eth eth…. Hmmm that's pretty catchyeth.) (Good lord here we go….eth)  
  
Mungo turned away.  
  
'I didn't know her mother was Griddlebone…. Hmmm…'  
  
*She's not you idiot! This is only a fanfiction!*  
  
'Ahh right.'  
  
He turned back to Rumpleteazer.  
  
"Cometh witheth meeth my Darling-eth."  
  
"Eh? Arg stuff ma. Le's go."  
  
Jerrie looked at Rumple startledly (A/N Yes, I know that that is not a word).  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"Oi said, le's go! Oi'd much ratha be wif u than wif ma mutha. She can be a right pain in the ars…."  
  
RUMPLE  
  
"Er…. Soz…"  
  
Mungojerrie who was used to being nearly killed all day long decided that an easy exit was good and led Rumpleteazer to the vortex.  
  
"Wot do oi hafta do Jer?"  
  
"Jus' walk throo I' luv."  
  
So Rumple walked through the vortex. Mungo followed close behind her. When he got inside he heard the author's terrible droning.  
  
*Jenny, I've already told you, you are far to good for him, no honestly, yes, yes, NO! I do not use hair dye! Yes, no, yes, yes HOW DARE YOU!?!?!? I DO NOT HAVE IMPLANTS!!!!! Oh…. Uh… Jen? I'll call you back okay? Bye sweetie. Kiss kiss to the kits. Uh hello Jerrie. Erm… if I send you home will you promise not to tell anyone about that? (Cori – To late!! HA HA HA HA HA HA HAH AH AH HAHAHAHHAH) Oh fine then Joxer. (Cori – Witch.) (Was that supposed to rhyme with a word starting with b?) (Cori – You read me like a book.)  
  
Mungojerrie whilst the author was arguing with Joxer (Cori – MY NAME IS NOT JOXER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) decided to sneak to the other side of the vortex. Before he knew it he was home. All the cats stared at the bedraggled cat that stepped out of the door. He had a black eye, a few busted ribs, fur missing from his butt thanks to that lightning the author had sent upon him and also one of his ears was ripped.  
  
"Wha' a dai!" he said before collapsing.  
  
"I's okay luv. Butcha screwed up Romeo an' Julie' again an' oi'll betcha forgo' tha milk."  
  
Dun dun dun dun! Did Mungo forget the milk? Of course he did, as any typical male of any species! :. If you wanna talk to me on MSN I'm always on, my email being: rumpleteazers_mingvase@hotmail.com so drop me a line. Please don't forget to review. This took a while and isn't it worth a review? (Cori – Pathetic isn't she?) (And Cori was back in ancient Greece contemplating life…. Heh heh heh) (Cori – Oh, you're evil…. Evil I tell you!!!!!!!) 


End file.
